As little girls, we all slipped into our mother’s vanity drawer and devoured our faces with the delectable bounty of eyeshadows and lipsticks and blushes. Little girls absolutely love makeup. And as they begin to grow up, it becomes an essential ingredient in shaping their grown-up identities. As a parent, I believe one of the most important factor we should remember is that the years of a tween  are highly aspirational. Little girls often see teens as role models so they attempt to match the look, attitude, music and other interests of a teenager. It should come as no surprise for this to be a potential source of conflict between most girls and their parents. Just because we might think 12 year-olds look outrageous in eyeliner, you’ll probably find it’s actually normal among their peer group. For them, it’s regarded unusual not to wear it. But ultimately, we as parents can always say no if something feels inappropriate. Our role is to help your girl reduce the glam to a more age-appropriate level.  If you really think about it, the bottom line is that the only people who like to see 12 year-olds with black ringed eyeballs are other 12 year-olds […and maybe raccoons].

So how do we permit our girls to satisfy their desire to look more grown-up without progressing too far across the line into adulthood? We often speculate how it’s possible to strike that delicate balance when you’re up against Teen Vogue or Seventeen Magazine featuring spreads of iconic images to tweenagers everywhere who are ornamented in multiple shades of eye shadow and lip color. I would probably have to guess, like myself, most mothers don’t want to see anything more than lip gloss on their tween girls. Unfortunately, even if your daughter doesn’t own makeup, it’s almost inevitable that sooner or later she will borrow some from a friend and arrive home with that pretty little face painted. This is your opportunity to remain calm, ask questions, listen, share your feelings, and come up with a plan of agreement. Sounds simple right? Let’s just say you’ll likely end up with only two conflicts…the thin line between a fresh and pretty-girl look and that of the hot and sexy rebellious grunge. Having two daughters, I can honestly say I encountered both ends of the spectrum and I found my solutions with the Artistry brand. Here are some sure ways I use  to help win my battle; I like to call them the “five c’s” of tweenager makeup:

Character

Let’s face it, children relate better to what they see, hear, and read about. Find an individual whether  it’s a character or celebrity or even someone personally known that both you and your daughter like who wears make up you’d be comfortable with your daughter emulating. Do some research on what products are used or what colors are worn and show them to your daughter as an example of a look you’re comfortable with. If you’re very strict on celebrity influences, show them a catalog with natural faces with fresher looks or if you know of some local beauty advisors, ask to see their portfolio. Be creative and incorporate your own preferred brands and products to help with that admired look. Remember, having character also means charm, appeal, attractiveness, and charisma.

Compromise

Become aware of the trends and determine what makeup products her friends are allowed to wear. It takes a village, so it’s always a good idea to communicate with other parents as well as school teachers and staff. If others in her peer group are permitted to wear makeup to school, perhaps it’s time you compromise with your daughter so that your potent stance doesn’t have a boomerang effect. This will prevent your daughter from being that girl who cakes on makeup the moment she gets to school, only to take it off before coming home. As parents, It definitely works to all of our advantages to network with the other moms and have set guidelines and standards that all can agree to abide by regarding makeup rules.

Consistency

It’s extremely important to be consistent with make up rules. Both parents need to be on the same page of communication. It sends the wrong message when the answer is “yes’ sometimes and “no” other times. Also be consistent with every child. If your older daughter waited until a certain age to start wearing make up, it’s a good idea to remain unwavering to these same rules for your younger daughter(s). Additionally, I suggest keeping on with the same brand of products because if you’ve found something that’s highly effective, with great quality, with sophisticated color palettes, and moreover that fits within your budget – don’t fix something that’s not broken.

Confidence

Make sure both you and your daughter feel confident in how they look.  I’ve found that many girls quickly discover that even the application of just one product can change how people look. Either mature or youthful. For example, when using eyeshadow, a smokey eye (darker shade palettes) makes people look more mature and a bright and fresh eyeshadow look will bring out the youth in the person such as a simple lighter shade that would suit the skintone. More is less and less is more in any given direction depending on the face you see looking back at you in the mirror to reflect a healthy glow. Encourage her to be her own unique self and not to look like everyone else.  Popular trends such as “cateyes” and “nude” lipcolor is something that may exude confidence for one but not necessarily the other.

Communication

It’s imperative to decide what you feel most passionate about and to compromise on the rest. At the end of the day, mascara should not come between mother and daughter. If your daughter wants to wear lipcolor and you’re unfavorable, perhaps a clear gloss or sheer pink, like an Artistry Light Up Lip Gloss, would gratify you both. Or if she wants a liquid foundation, maybe a pressed powder or light color correcting cream works for a look that both of you will admire. Also, it goes without saying that the importance of sterilization and hygiene along with skincare maintenance regimens, in collaboration with both physical and emotional health are frequent must-have discourses.